TLynn > All I Need

All I Need

He opened his eyes slowly, immediately shielding them from the bright sunlight that was shining through a nearby window. He exhaled audibly, and forcing himself into full consciousness, lifted his body to a seated position.

"Well, there you are," he heard her say. "I was wondering how long you were going to be out like that."

She sat across the room from him, legs crossed, cigarette in hand, looking as if she had been watching him for some time.

"Out like what?" he asked.

"Well...dead to the world," she said. "Which you are, so I suppose I shouldn't have questioned it."

He struggled to understand her words. They mixed together in his mind. The haze was thick as comprehension floated just out of reach. He slowly surveyed his surroundings, grateful for their familiarity, but shaken at the complete lack of understanding as to how he got there. He stood suddenly, scrubbing his face with his hands.

"How did I get here?" he asked. "I...I can't...I don't have any memory of coming here. I don't remember..."

"I don't know how you got here, Neo," she said, taking a drag from her cigarette. "But I know you shouldn't be here. Think. Think hard. What's the last thing you remember?"

The fog remained thick and unrelenting. He knew the events were there, but he couldn't see them. He paced with frustration.

"Nothing. There's nothing there. Why can't I remember?"

"Maybe you don't want to," she said. "But you must. You don't belong here anymore, Neo. And you need to remember why."

"If I don't belong here--"

Suddenly, the images flashed through his mind with rapid succession. He fell back to the couch, losing control as the memories flooded back.

Oh, God.

Trinity. The Machines. Smith. Battle. Choice. Death. TrinityTheMachinesSmithBattleChoiceDeath.

He could still feel her on his fingertips. He could still hear her voice. He could still taste her last breath. He could still feel the cold steel of the Machine City, could still feel their voice booming in his chest. Images of Smith flickered in his mind and the sensation of rain beating against his skin was distinct. His hand ached from combat even still. And he could still feel his death, his surrender to it and the complete absence of fear surrounding it.

He remembered dying. He remembered the relief. And he remembered that he couldn't feel her anymore. He needed her to live and he needed her to die. But he couldn't find her.

"Trinity," he said. "Where is she?"

"Don't you know?" she asked.

"I couldn't find her," he said. "I remember...I can see myself looking for her. But I can't see her. So I thought...I created an image of you. And of this place. And now I'm here. How is that possible?"

"It's possible because you made it possible, I suspect."

"I need to find her."

"I know you do," she said. "Do you believe her to be dead?"

"You know she is," he said. "Why would you ask that?"

"What does death mean to you, Neo?" she asked, extinguishing her cigarette in an ashtray and rising up to her feet. "What is it that makes Trinity dead?"

"You knew she was going to die, didn't you?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," he said.

"Answer me, Neo," she continued. "What is it that makes her dead?"

He held his face in his hands for several long seconds, willing away the tears stinging at his eyes. His eyes were hard when he finally looked up.

"She's dead because her body was pinned to the floor with metal rods. She's dead because those rods pierced her internal organs. She's dead because she was bleeding to death. She's dead because..."

He became silent, trying to find the words. He didn't realize he felt them, and believed them, until they were already out of his mouth.

"Because I couldn't save her."

"And there you have it," she said, sitting back down. "Your mind is full of guilt, Neo. Once you shed that guilt, you will find Trinity."

"But there wasn't anything I could do and I know that," he said. "I know that. I don't know how I could have done anything."

"Yes, your head knows that," she said. "But what about here?"

His eyes fell to her hand upon her chest, resting over her heart. His eyelids shut and the darkness was welcoming as remorse crept over him. He felt her face with his hands again, felt the life slowly slipping from her, and his body shook with the memory. And he listened to her voice again, hearing her words with a new clarity. Her sense of calm washed over him now and he felt her love wrap him in familiar warmth.

"I see you, Trin," he whispered. "I see you."

"I see you, too," she said.

His eyes flew open at the sound of her voice. She was kneeled down in front of him, smiling, her eyes shining. A quick glance revealed that the Oracle was no longer present and he blinked his eyes several times before daring to look back at her again.

"I'm here," she said. "I promise."

He reached down and pulled her to him fiercely, his arms wrapping around her smaller frame with no intention of letting go. She buried her face in his neck and he felt the wet of her tears against his skin. Their bodies slowly rocked together, back and forth, the simple movement comforting them both. After what seemed like a lifetime, he pulled back just enough to let his lips meet hers in a brief, yet fervent, kiss. She smiled at him, and he was certain there has never been a more beautiful sight in all the world.

"What do we do now?" he asked.

"Death doesn't have to mean our extinction," she said. "It doesn't have to be that final. There are higher planes, Neo. Can't you feel them?"

"I feel you," he said. "And that's all I need."


End of Transmission

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