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i feel cold
not bad
not angry
not sad
not depressed
not low
not any of that
just
cold
i still hold true to my ideas of Silent Apathy
i'm not someone they particularly care about anyway
i've always known that's how it always was
i didn't get it then, it's still the wrong term
but i understand now
perhaps Silent Apathy
isn't really holding to how i am
it implies a deliberate ignorance on my part
at any rate, i can't deliberately ignore
but i can stay away
she doesn't need to hear from me
she doesn't want to
but i will send it out
one last message before
she becomes a background figure
you don't like it
i don't care
i can't help it
i am who i am
i'm a watcher
i keep track
i pay attention
and i guard
no amount of ranting will change that
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