{"id":57,"date":"2005-08-10T14:36:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-10T21:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xjaymanx.com\/wordpress\/?p=60"},"modified":"2005-08-10T14:36:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-10T21:36:00","slug":"shattered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/08\/10\/shattered\/","title":{"rendered":"remix 052 ~ shattered"},"content":{"rendered":"

images by “cardboardboxed<\/strong><\/a>” :: various original posts<\/b><\/a>
\nremixed image & words by “xjaymanx<\/strong>”<\/p>\n


\nshattered<\/a><\/p>\n

“what’s wrong?” i said,
\n“i don’t understand!”<\/p>\n

“that’s right!” she screamed,
\n“you don’t understand!”<\/p>\n

“get out!” she shoved
\nand slammed the door behind me
\nyet all i could do was stand numbly in the hallway<\/p>\n

to nurse my wounds,
\nboth physical and cynical,
\nunder the crackling cackling fluorescent light<\/p>\n

she was right, after all,
\ni didn’t understand her<\/p>\n

i couldn’t understand her
\nnarcissistic loves or
\nmonotheistic fears or
\nanti-depressant hopes or
\nself-destructive dreams or
\ndecapitating nightmares or<\/p>\n

her intermittent urge
\nto inscribe her bitter misery
\nonto her deftly-traced double-spaced skin<\/p>\n

and all i could do was stare blankly down the hallway<\/p>\n

in bruised silence.<\/p>\n

but when i heard her cry,
\nher sobs shattered my doubts
\nand i turned to her door once more<\/p>\n

with a determined sigh,
\ni shut my bloodshot eyes
\nand raised my knuckle to the artificial wood<\/p>\n

and knock-knocked.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

images by “cardboardboxed” :: various original posts remixed image & words by “xjaymanx” shattered “what’s wrong?” i said, “i don’t understand!” “that’s right!” she screamed, “you don’t understand!” “get out!” she shoved and slammed the door behind me yet all i could do was stand numbly in the hallway to nurse my wounds, both physical … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7rIwb-V","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":71,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/09\/20\/graceful-agony\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":0},"title":"remix 066 ~ graceful agony","author":"xjaymanx","date":"September 20, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"images by \"goldfish_\" :: original post remixed image by \"xjaymanx\" part *1* words by \"goldfish_\" part *2* words by \"xjaymanx\" graceful agony *1* i am miserably lonely. some people have the ability to be lonely in a careless, or maybe even graceful way, but i rarely manage. my roads are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/11\/fallen\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":1},"title":"remix 008 ~ fallen","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"images by \"digital_sushi\" :: original post words by \"xjaymanx\" fallen fallible she stares blankly hopeless knees buckle numbly against unaffected tiles against indifferent shadows against uncaring reflections her halo of velvet tumbles wildly yet soullessly in forgotten freedom her cigarette her fading fire her only dreaming beacon to the distant\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":154,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2006\/11\/21\/walled-melancholy\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":2},"title":"remix 075 ~ walled melancholy","author":"xjaymanx","date":"November 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"image by \"xjaymanx\" remixed image by \"xjaymanx\" walled melancholy","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":72,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/09\/23\/i-suppose-i-could\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":3},"title":"remix 067 ~ i suppose i could","author":"xjaymanx","date":"September 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"inspired by \"ladymorgaine81\" :: original post google image search by \"xjaymanx\" remixed image by \"xjaymanx\" remixed words by \"ladymorgaine81\" & \"xjaymanx\" i suppose i could i'm annoyed after tearing my room apart putting it back together doing all the laundry and rearranging the other room i still can't find my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":153,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2006\/11\/20\/framed-melancholy\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":4},"title":"remix 074 ~ framed melancholy","author":"xjaymanx","date":"November 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"image by \"therealone_\" remixed image by \"xjaymanx\" framed melancholy","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/17\/caught\/","url_meta":{"origin":57,"position":5},"title":"remix 030 ~ caught","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 17, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"images by \"xjaymanx\" :: related post remixed image & words by \"xjaymanx\" caught caught by surprise as he contemplates his next choice and chuckles at the colossal absurdity of it all","rel":"","context":"In 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