{"id":45,"date":"2005-07-29T18:11:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-30T01:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xjaymanx.com\/wordpress\/?p=48"},"modified":"2005-07-29T18:11:00","modified_gmt":"2005-07-30T01:11:00","slug":"cold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/29\/cold\/","title":{"rendered":"remix 041 ~ cold"},"content":{"rendered":"

inspired by “ladymorgaine81<\/strong><\/a>” :: original post<\/b><\/a>
\nremixed image by “xjaymanx<\/strong>” :: added after composition<\/p>\n


\ncold<\/a><\/p>\n

i feel cold<\/p>\n

not bad
\nnot angry
\nnot sad
\nnot depressed
\nnot low
\nnot any of that<\/p>\n

just<\/p>\n

cold<\/p>\n

i still hold true to my ideas of Silent Apathy
\ni’m not someone they particularly care about anyway
\ni’ve always known that’s how it always was
\ni didn’t get it then, it’s still the wrong term<\/p>\n

but i understand now<\/p>\n

perhaps Silent Apathy
\nisn’t really holding to how i am
\nit implies a deliberate ignorance on my part
\nat any rate, i can’t deliberately ignore<\/p>\n

but i can stay away<\/p>\n

she doesn’t need to hear from me
\nshe doesn’t want to<\/p>\n

but i will send it out<\/p>\n

one last message before
\nshe becomes a background figure<\/p>\n

you don’t like it
\ni don’t care
\ni can’t help it
\ni am who i am
\ni’m a watcher
\ni keep track
\ni pay attention
\nand i guard<\/p>\n

no amount of ranting will change that<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

inspired by “ladymorgaine81” :: original post remixed image by “xjaymanx” :: added after composition cold i feel cold not bad not angry not sad not depressed not low not any of that just cold i still hold true to my ideas of Silent Apathy i’m not someone they particularly care about anyway i’ve always known … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s7rIwb-cold","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/12\/not-so-random-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":0},"title":"remix 021 ~ not so random things","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 12, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"inspired by \"ladymorgaine81\" :: original post remixed image & words by \"xjaymanx\" :: added after composition not so random things not so random things exhaustingly bright and hot light is not my friend heat is my sworn enemy work sucks again nothing new there a surprising amount of traffic mostly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":72,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/09\/23\/i-suppose-i-could\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":1},"title":"remix 067 ~ i suppose i could","author":"xjaymanx","date":"September 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"inspired by \"ladymorgaine81\" :: original post google image search by \"xjaymanx\" remixed image by \"xjaymanx\" remixed words by \"ladymorgaine81\" & \"xjaymanx\" i suppose i could i'm annoyed after tearing my room apart putting it back together doing all the laundry and rearranging the other room i still can't find my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/15\/smooshed\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":2},"title":"remix 027 ~ smooshed","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 15, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"inspired by \"ladymorgaine81\" :: original post remixed words by \"xjaymanx\" smooshed compressed under pressure with no room to move unaware less aware than she used to be --i don't hear them!-- startled leaping three feet into the air or skip-skipping a heartbeat she can't help it she can't find another\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/11\/missing\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":3},"title":"remix 007 ~ missing","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"inspired by \"ladymorgaine81\" :: original post no original image :: rare :: mod words by \"xjaymanx\" missing pen to paper better late than never rusty resisting the gravity of fantastical visions and vibrations wishing something for myself","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/16\/put-your-arm-in-the-air\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":4},"title":"remix 029 ~ put your arm in the air","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 16, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"images by \"iloveyoukirk\" :: original post remixed image & words by \"xjaymanx\" put your arm in the air --put your arm in the air-- she persuaded him while he laughed in her midnight glow --okay-- he nodded as her mood flickered between purple apathy and pink indifference so he lifted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9,"url":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/2005\/07\/11\/i-have-fairy-lights\/","url_meta":{"origin":45,"position":5},"title":"remix 005 ~ i have fairy lights","author":"xjaymanx","date":"July 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"images by \"goldfish_\" :: link to original post no longer exists :: mod remixed image & words by \"xjaymanx\" i have fairy lights i have fairy lights silent fireflies fluttering hovering like misty mystical snowflakes tiny dancing angels comforting me humming to me giving me permission to be intoxicated in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Remix"","block_context":{"text":"Remix","link":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/category\/remix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xjaymanx.com\/toyboxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}